Shit, is it this time of year again? Fucking Ramsey, making me deal with these amateur fuckers. Pennywise & Kreuger put me through this shit and now you? I should call my lawyers and...
*continues to mumble incoherent profanity*So who the hell do we have this year?
Adrienne. Paige. Alice. Charlie. Lynda. Olivia.
*glances at the girls*All of you really picked the same character features? "Pretty" blonde girl, ready to run and cry? What happened to variety? Sticking out? Fuck me, you're all probably going to be wannabe sassy bitch stereotypes, aren't you?
*rolls eyes*Better than being a dumb blonde, I guess. Both have been played out way too much and by many who simply aren't skilled enough. Be happy I said your names. I'll likely not bother remembering any of you past today.
*moves onto others*Who's next?
Who the fuck is the white haired girl, does she speak English and can someone please bring me the head of her hairdresser? This shit looks fake as fuck.
*cringes again at her hair*Kill the hairdresser's family too.
Love you in your show, but watch your dragons with me or you'll find yourself next to your hairdresser on my shelf.
Katherine. You're basically the brunette version of the other girls. Lucky for you, I like brunettes better.
Own these bitches for me, will ya?
Oh, right. The freaks. We always seem to attract the uglies. I blame the producers for always sticking me with horrendously disfigured hosts to encourage these bafoons. First the clown, then the charred one and now the blob of skin. Ok, let's do this.
Creeper. Eat me anytime.
Just don't take anything when you leave in the morning and don't call me. Nobody likes the needy.
Sam. Well aren't you just the cutest and smartest one here!
*takes a piece of your candy*You at least put a bag over your freakshow.
*whistles to Olivia*Learn from this boy. I like you, Sam. If you need adopted, call my agent.
Swamp Thing. Keep your swamp off my Gucci shoes and your thing in your pants. We'll get along fine. Oh, but do something about the odor. Cause wow, you wreak.
*spritz some perfume on you*
*looks at the fox & pony*Wait, really?
*looks to the host*We just allow any animal on the farm to waltz in now? Can't we just skin them and wear their pelts? The orange one would make a lovely boa...
*looks back to the fox & pony*I guess if we can let Daenarys's hair in, we can let the you too in as well.
*looks at the next in line, smiles & adjusts meh boobs*
*gets closer to Dean & George and whispers*Hey there.
Need an immunity idol? Just come to my room any time. But keep it secret. Sh!
*sees Ramsey getting suspicious & I skittle over to the next*Ew. Old man. Gross. Go away. Love your work though.
Oooh. Winifred & Violet. Big fan of both of you. I think you may be the only ones here that actually intrigue me. You have the skill, the looks, the charm...the malice.
*grins*Why waste your time in this dump with these losers?
*hears Ramsey yelling at me*Oh shut it, Ramshead.
Ok, done with the pleasantries. Yes, that was me being pleasant.
I think it's time I finally introduce myself.
I am J-Tilly. I am your queen and you hold no value here. So get that out of your minds immediately. You are not funny, you are not cute, you are not clever, you are not sassy, you are not original, you are not worth. My. Time. You are nothing. Nothing more than the scum my stelletos collect after a long night of stepping on people's backs. I do not want to hear your whining, your bitching, your complaints, your RL problems, your excuses or anything else you feel you need to open your mouth for during this game. I already expect some of you will want to reply to this with something "witty" or "bitchy". If you do, please know in doing so you've marked yourself as a 1-dimensional stereotypical copy of everyone else that has played the witty bitch in ORGs for over a decade. Half of you will either become inactive, be boring as fuck or become pawns, sheep or even a goat if you're lucky. Let's be honest...we hosts can already pinpoint which of you will be this half. The other half...you stand a chance of standing out.
If you wish to earn my respect in the slightest and stand out in this game...throw your RL & in-game problems out the window cause nobody cares, suck it up, fight hard in this game and make fools out of your competitors. Otherwise, you're just going to continue to waste my time. Dominate or GTFO.
Now, back to my trailer. I've a manicure in 20.
*turns and leaves*
I think it's time I finally introduce myself.
because of it. Muahahaha. A great addition to the staff and always a lively personality.
